Bitter Goodbye
by Lusha1991
Summary: well, Lori is Dean's love, she have to deal with his death and going to hell and to find a way to get him out of there, Sam going to help of course..can she save him? this is the qustin? I'm not a good summary writer so just read it and post your comments


**Chapter 1: How it feels to lose? **

There were only two weeks left, and she's barely holding on. I mean… the man she love is going to hell and she can't do anything about it, she couldn't sleep, eat and the thought of losing him chasing her dreams, hunting her thoughts and the fear is there with every blink of an eye.

(_How can he be so selfish like that? God, I hate him__)_ that all what she kept saying to herself, to make it his fault, and maybe hate him for making her so in love with him; But every time these orders came across her heart and mind, but unfortunately these orders were… turned down; I mean how can she hate her soul? She can do any thing BUT hating him, it's just hard for her to do such a thing.

She was walking alone in a dark alley, thinking of what her life could have been without Dean. Well; it would be more save, no guns involved and no demon hunt. But there well be…. no loud music and no fighting over who is going to sit shotgun; me or Sam, and not worrying about their health with all the junk food that they eat.

Suddenly a hand strikes her shoulder, with a fast move she took the hand and slammed the person on the wall, but it was just Sam. "What the hell are you doing here all alone? Dean is worried sick about you" Sam said angrily but then he stopped when he saw the pain in her hazely brown eyes and the black circles that the lack of sleeping caused around her eyes, then when he realize what she was going through, his eyes gazed on her pale face, then the sadness and guilt fill his heart, then he pulled her close and held her tight.

"I'm sorry" he started while he was stroking her back to make her feel ok, (but there were nothing in this world can make her fell ok), after a while he continued "it's going to be ok" "ok?... Are you sure?... coz 'OK' will vanished from my dictionary if Dean is….." she took a deep bitter sigh then she continued "gone" Sam kept looking at her then he replied "you got to get your act together for Deans sake, he needs you right now. More then ever; I mean if we couldn't save him…" she snapped at him "SHUT UP, don't you ever say that again…" tears fill her tired eyes but she was trying not to cry or break down, then she realize, that she was cruel with Sam " I'm sorry….I… I didn't mean to yell at you like that but…I… I just can't get myself together… not now… not when I'm losing everything, I don't know what's going to happen to me after… ahh… I'd be all alone…." Sam interrupted her with his deep voice "don't say that, you'll have me and Bobby" "Sam, you know how my life turned down 180 degrees, I was angry and lost, but when Dean found me that night, and he made me forget all the bad things that happened to me, he was like this cold wind that cooled me down, and he made me love this life again… when I'm with him Sammy…. I feel loved, safe, strong and together… and I'm not ready to lose him now, not ever"

she broke down in tears as she finished this hard confession, it was like she couldn't take it any more, she didn't want Sam to see her weakness, and to be worried about her, so she just pushed her way through him and head toward the car. But then she suddenly stopped, Sam kept looking, he wanted to know the reason that made her stop running from the truth, then he walked in small steps toward her, but as she began to fall down he ran toward her and break her fall. She was so tired and in deep pain. He looked at her with his puppy dog eyes, and all he saw is her love for his brother, and how desperate she is and in deep pain, even him can't imagine it…. He just realizes that she's really love his brother.

She was motionless; she barely could open her eyes, her heart filled with pain and sorrows. (_As I said the lack of sleep, starvation, sadness, pain and loss can do that to the strongest lion, what about a girl, who's losing so much in no time). _

Sam picked her up, head toward the Impala, and then; they scat in to the dark highway. She was looking out from the window in fact she was thinking again about how did it all end up here, when they were so fine? Why now? Can she die instead? But it was to late now; there is nothing she can do to save her love.

Suddenly the car stopped, and Sam got off of the car she looked out from the window, she realize it was Bobby's house, while she was looking out, her door suddenly opened, it was Sam, he stretched out his hand to help her out of the car, but she was so scared to face the truth at that moment she wished that she was living a lie or maybe a dream but she wasn't, then he held her hand and pulled her out of the car and that's when she saw Dean standing there in the distance on Bobby's porch she stood there for a second.

suddenly the rain began to bounce off the Impala and the wind began to rustle through the trees, Sam ran toward the house, but she was still standing under the rain, Sam looked back and saw her standing without movement, he turned back and grabbed her hand "come on, before you catch a cold" his voice was loud enough to bring her back to reality, then he pulled her close and sheltered her under his jacket and ran toward the house…

And there was Dean standing, looking at her worriedly and almost angry; I mean she was away for almost two weeks now, and they didn't know were she was, "where the hell were you? You know how much you made us worry about you, do you……" then he stopped when Sam interrupted him "DEAN…" then he gave him [look at her] kind a look, then he realize that he was hard on her, and when Bobby's headlights hit her face, her pale face made his eyes teary "what the hell happened? ….. are you ok?" his voice was filled with worry and guilt, worried coz he wasn't sure if she was ok, and guilt coz he thinks that he was hard on her, she looked at him with her hazely brown tired eyes and nod "I'm fine Dean…. Really, I'm ok" she said with her tender voice.

He grabbed her and held her close, then he warps his arms around her waist and buries his head into her shoulder "you scared the hell out of me?" Dean said whispering, and she felt him started to cry so she ran her fingers through his short hair and kiss his neck softly and she whispered in to his ears "I'm sorry" she can feel him squeeze her tighter and he start to kiss her neck softly then he carried her inside, he head toward the stairs "where are you taking me? We still have work to do… Dean are you listening to me" she tried to argue, but she was too tired to do that, especially with him "hush… shut up and relax, if you want to save my ass, you have to have some rest" then he carried her to the room.

She changed her wet clothes. After that, Dean came close to her, he held her tight, she could feel his breath on her shoulder, he kissed her shoulder's ball, and then her neck and then her ears, then he gripped her waist gently and turned her to face him, he gave her a light kiss on her nose, then on her cheeks, then he kissed her passionately, he carried her, she just put her head on his strong chest and listen to his heart beat.

He laid her on the bad then he slid beside her and held her close "it's going to be ok. You know that don't you?" he said almost whispering while he removed a lock of hair from her face… but she didn't answer back… she was thinking, how can she be ok when he's gone, how can she be fine without him near, how can she move on with her life without him close. she almost start to cry but she held it back and she buried her head between his chest and his arm trying to avoid looking into his eyes, coz if she looked that would make her feel weak and worse and it would make her realize how much little time she have with him… so she just sat there with his arms around her.

for a second she let herself out of this prison she put herself in it, and had some sleep but then these horrifying nightmares began to hit her head and taking her sleep away, so she just woke up at the middle of the night with this worrying shiver in her heart… looking around, she saw Dean lying next to her, he was sleeping like a baby, she enjoyed looking at him for a second then she stamped his forehead with a light kiss so he won't wake up, then she got up and went down stairs, heading to the library she took couple of books, just to keep her mind busy and maybe she finds something that she missed before, she went and sat on the couch and she start to read.

Couple of hours passed and her eyes began to get heavy by the second… after a while she felt this warm hands stroking her cheeks and hair, she opened her eyes slowly and she saw Dean staring back at her "you just don't know how to quit, don't you?" then he gave her a kiss "no, I don't… and I won't… so why won't you go and have so rest and I'll follow you in a minuet ok, I just have two more pages and I'm finished with this one……." she was so tired, weak and she was struggling to open her eyes, "if you don't know how to quit, I don't take NO for an answer. So you leave this damn book and come with me" he lifts her up "but I……" "Shhh, no but, your coming with me……sleepy head" he said with a smile, at that moment she stopped arguing, she just laid her head on his chest as he carried her back to the room.

Have you ever wondered why when you need time it ends so fast? And when you want it to pass by fast, it seems like…. Forever. Dean time's up, and today is the day, so for the next 18 hours she's going to work her ass off to find a way to save him…she know it's too late but it won't hurt to try.. Right??

It's 6 am, she's in the car, she haven't slept in the past four days and the only thing keeping her awake, it's the caffeine running through her veins, she was searching for something she might missed before, anything. But she can't fool herself, she'd been searching for **a way out** for almost a year, but she didn't find anything other than disappointment and pain. So, what made her think? That she could change what's going to happen, in these few hours? Blind faith maybe, she thought that there was a happy ending somewhere. Or maybe she wasn't ready to lose him, not yet. No matter what was the reason that kept her going, but she still won't let him go without a fight, even if she's going to lose. Then she's going to lose, proving to him that she'll do anything to keep him alive, no matter what it takes, she'll do it.

she headed to the library **her last hope, **she took couple of books to read, she was reading like crazy, "no one is taking the book from you" said Sam sarcastically while he was heading toward her, "but they going to take my man away" she replied almost angry and the caffeine effected her mode, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just wanted to lighten the air… again I'm sorry" "it's ok, I'm a little tired that's all… don't worry, I'll be fine" "why won't you come with me, I'm going back home, and maybe you can have some rest" "rest?" she snapped questioning "Rest is the last thing going through my mine right now, I want rest until I find something helpful, and I hope I find it soon, coz if I don't……" she took a painful deep breath "…I'm going to lose my mind, Sammy…. I'm going to lose it"


End file.
